"Exceptional Care for Families with Newborns"

Snuggle Cheater

Journal Entry, 2008

Dear Diary, (Client names have been changed)

When we were hired by Joe and Jill it was because Joe needed support during Jill’s birth. We had NO idea just how much support he actually needed.

Jill was great.

She managed through her contractions beautifully while Joe paced back and forth around the hospital room. He let out moans and whimpers as Jill prepared herself to focus for each labor pain. He cried, he prayed, he kissed the cross around his neck and he begged me to make her pain go away.

I applied counter pressure to Jill’s lower back as Joe wept into my shoulder. As the tightening of her uterus subsided, Jill consoled Joe and attempted to reassure him that she was ok.

This did not ease Joe’s anxiety at all. “Oh G-d, this is too much. My wife is the strongest woman in the world, this is torture, she shouldn’t have to endure this, make it stop!” These are just some of the things Joe called out as he cried, sniffled, paced and blew his nose (against my shoulder).

As dramatic as this was, this man loved his wife tremendously!

After many hours and complete exhaustion, Jill opted for an epidural and some rest. The anesthesiologist arrived and the epidural was put in place.

Jill was comfortable within moments and quickly drifted off to sleep. Joe unfolded the “daddy” chair in the room and I told him I would be giving them some privacy and going to rest in the waiting room. I told him he should come and get me the moment Jill started to wake.

Joe immediately froze! He then turned towards me. He had the fear of G-d in his eyes and terror on his face.

“You can’t leave me!

Don’t go!

I need you here!

You can sleep on the pull out chair… with me!” he begged. I’m sure he sensed my surprise but I don’t think he cared. He hired a doula and damn it, she was gonna support him! 

Joe said, “I’m gonna use the bathroom, I’ll be right back. 

Now the room is dark, his wife is sleeping (and in labor, I might add) and the “daddy” bed is really just a long… CHAIR!

I panic.

I look at the chair.

I look at the bathroom door.

I look at Jill.

I have to think quick because there is no way I can let this crying man spoon me!

The side of the chair is against the wall. I grab one of the two pillows, put it against the wall on the arm of the chair, sit with my butt in the seat and throw my legs over the other arm, leaving the length of the chair for Joe. I sit with my head against the wall and my legs dangling over the side for a minute and I wait.

Joe comes out of the bathroom, grabs the other pillow and sits on the long part of our… BED.

He fluffs the pillow and places it on my stomach and then, this grown man rests his head on me, takes my arm, wraps it around himself and holds it between his two hands and very emotionally drifts off to sleep.

What a scene! At this point I’m sitting up with my eyes popped out of my head barely breathing.

I have been with my husband since I was 17 years old and this man… was not him!!!

I eventually fall asleep out of shear exhaustion and wake up to the 7am nursing shift change.

The fluorescent lights pop our eyes open and there we are looking absolutely ridiculous!

If all this wasn’t bad enough, I came home after little Alexa was born and shared the story with my husband.

He looked me dead in the eye, folded his arms and said, “You snuggle cheated!” 

Apparently I will never live this down. It’s official… I AM A SNUGGLE CHEATER!

Authored by: The Rock n’ Roll Doula