Attachment Parenting on a Schedule
I only breastfed for a few months, I fed on a schedule, my children slept 8-10 hours a night at 3 and 4 weeks old and no child of mine ever slept in the bed that I make love to my husband in. And still… We are attached. Incredibly bonded and attached.
I ran a tight ship around here. There was a schedule for everything and we stuck to that schedule. Modifications were made to the schedule when necessary and those modifications were quickly maintained. This was our choice for our family; it was never open for debate or discussion. It was our decision to make and we made the right one for us.
That being said, my confidence level hovers around the 10+ mark on any given day and I don’t seek the approval of others, ever. I make decisions with my partner; Jerry Patterson and we act on that decision. Together, as a team.
If you are the judging type and I hope for your sake you are not, judge away. It will have no impact because I have the advantage of watching it in action for two days shy of 21 years and I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do anything as powerful as parenting. I simply know what my family needed.
The part that I have a difficult time with, is the assumption that “scheduled parenting” creates less of a bond or a disconnect. The bond I have with my girls can only be compared to the bond between E.T and Elliot. When E.T is ill, Elliot gets sick. They feel each other’s pain and share each other’s happiness.
So, I created my own style of parenting. I called it, “Attachment Parenting On A Schedule”. It was exactly what we needed and it created very predictable babies. I needed that predictability; it made me a much better mother than I would have been without it. I knew when they needed a meal, I knew when they would sleep, when they would be cranky and when would be the best time for a successful outing. I was able to balance my life in accordance with loving and nurturing my babies as well as meeting their needs.
I can’t stress enough that this post is NOT about how someone else chooses to do things. It is simply about my, The Rock n’ Roll Doula’s personal choices and preferences for her own. For many years, I have successfully and lovingly taught the principals and actions of Attachment Parenting to families that choose it as their preference. My own choices are exactly that, my own.
There are as many ways to love, nurture and parent our children, as there are people who do it. Let’s embrace what’s right for our families and keep our opinions about what other people do, to ourselves!
Oh by the way…. This isn’t the last time I will be talking about this “Attachment Parenting On A Schedule” thing!
Authored by: Randy Patterson