Providing Professional Doula Services to Families in Greenwich, Westchester and NYC

bonding

Parenting can be a handful... 

...Literally!

With a baby in tow, 'hands free' is more important than ever​ and baby wearing frees up your hands while safely snuggling your baby against your body. The right baby wearing sling can be a comfortable option for you and your baby while supporting your little ones delicate joints. 

Some baby wearing options fit similar to a front facing backpack with clips and over the shoulder straps, while others are more like a scarf wrapped strategically around the mother's body. Criteria when choosing how you'll wear your baby should include:

  • Support for your baby's spine, neck and hips
  • Comfort on the wearers back and shoulders 

The only way to find out what works best for you is to try different styles to see what you're most comfortable with. Every parent's preferences are different when it comes to baby wearing, so don't be nervous to test a variety of brands to find the perfect fit for you and baby. 

Benefits of Baby wearing

Aside from freeing up your hands, baby wearing provides a variety of benefits for you and your little one. It's been recently proven that babies carried regularly throughout the day are more content and...Read more

 

We were madly in love and I had just birthed our baby about a week and a half prior. The oxytocin was flowing like crazy and our new little family was blissfully bonding.

I remember my husband sitting with me while I was breastfeeding. He would stare lovingly at our little girl and I, while she and I tried to figure out the intimacy and awkwardness of early breastfeeding. He would stroke her feet, chuckle at her tiny gulping sounds and offer her his finger for her tight fisted grip.

Although he knew that I was the only one who could offer our daughter nourishment, there was a part of him that wanted to share in that closeness. He wanted to feed our baby. He was so cautious of not interfering with our process, but he really wanted to feed our baby.

One summer afternoon, when our daughter was barely 2 weeks old, she was ready to nurse. I took her into the bedroom where I could stretch out and be more comfortable. My husband followed me into the bedroom. Before I could get settled, he took off his shirt and sat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He opened his legs and asked me to sit in front of him with the baby in my arms and my back to him.

I laid the baby on the bed in front of me and I took off my top, exposing my breasts to nurse her. He asked me to lean back against him. He reached his left arm around me and supported our baby and he nestled his chin on my left shoulder. As he brought his right arm around me, he...Read more

1) The old “I Don’t Know”- This one started way back. You were a teenager, you would randomly start crying and the more someone asked you why you were crying, the less you knew why! I guess this is one of those exclusive to women emotional overloads. So if that’s what we’re calling it, it makes sense that the more compassionate someone is towards you during one of these episodes, the more the emotions flow. How on Earth could we expect a man to understand this when WE don’t understand it ourselves!

2) Your chubby! You’re getting dressed, everything looks like shit on you, your room is a disaster, there are clothes all over the place and you come to the overwhelming truth that you are now officially… chubby! Men cannot understand this! Weren’t you the same size yesterday? You looked great yesterday! What do you mean you’re chubby? Just put on that black thing. You always wear that. It fits fine, we’re late.

3) You got a bad haircut. A bad haircut can kick our asses! I mean ruin us for weeks. We get insecure, fucked up, neurotic and emotional over hair! Hair! Let’s keep in mind, our husbands didn’t even notice our hair was cut, never mind cut BADLY! It certainly doesn’t make sense to them why we would be crying about this. They will never understand this, but we all do, right?

4) A song on the radio. Oh, how a song on the radio can stir up some...Read more

Even When it Makes You Feel Like a Failure!

I’m a doula.  I know a lot about breastfeeding.  I know how to help a baby latch shortly after birth, I can answer any question you have, I could fill pages and pages writing advice for different scenarios and concerns.

What I can’t do… is make enough breastmilk to sustain my [rather robust] children.  I had milk supply issues with all three of my children.  I knew EXACTLY what to do to fix it – I had given this advice, I had coached women through these solutions and I had seen it ALL WORK… for them. 

With my first child, you might say I was completely oblivious, but not for a lack of knowledge – I had all the information, but I trusted my instincts and believed that everything was, and would be, GREAT.  We slept, we ate, we smiled. 

Pregnant with baby #2, I began to reflect on my experience with Mia.  With a bit more experience as a doula, I realized that I had low milk supply.  DUH!  What an idiot, I kept thinking… I’m a doula and I didn’t realize that I hadn’t been making enough milk.  It hit me like a ton of bricks – I felt like a fool, I had walked around all this time with a stupid, naïve smile on my face.  I felt like a fake and a phony – had I tricked everyone and myself into thinking I knew what I was doing, as a mother AND as a doula?  How could I have been so stupid?!  NOT AGAIN, I decided!  I knew the problem, I knew the solution and I was going to fix it.  My complete and utter...Read more

I AM A WOMAN

I am a woman

I am not afraid of my body, in fact, I embrace its beauty regardless of its size

I believe in the process of birth and I am willing to surrender to this magnificent process

I am normal and my body is not capable of betraying me, because we are one

I will become a Mother

I will tune out the voices of others and trust in my natural instinct to feed and nurture my child

I will meet every need my baby has, because we are bonded by pure love

Those who love me will give me the space to find myself as this new being and will place no expectations on me during this re-birth of myself

There will be no time limits on this process because nothing on Earth is more important than this

I am a womanRead more

I wanted a baby more than anything on Earth and was fortunate enough to have one. The second I laid eyes on her I knew we were one. The sun rose and set on this baby and I was madly in love with her (I still am). I looked at her with total fascination. If I could climb inside of her and see the world through her eyes I would have. I loved to share something new with her and watch her understand it. I talked to her and asked her opinion about things before the world or anyone in it had a chance to sway her in any direction. She was intuitive and unbelievably wise beyond her years. We were bonded like ET and Elliot.

And then it happened….

I got pregnant. Someone else was growing inside me. I was terrified! I loved Erica so much, I couldn’t imagine being able to love another person as much as I loved her and I wasn’t going to “cheat” on her with ANY other baby.

My solution…. Denial. Ignore it. Don’t think about it and maybe I won’t have to deal with it.

As you can imagine, that worked for about 40 weeks and then my labor began. I labored comfortably throughout the day and in the evening, Erica went to spend the night at Grammy’s. My labor hit the “go to the hospital mark”, 5-1-1. (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute for at least 1 hour) They “checked” me, I was 1cm dialated, they laughed at me and sent me home. A few hours later, I went back, I was fully dialated, terrified and I pushed my baby out. Retrospectively, a doula would have...Read more

A Mother’s Love

My Journal Entry On May 14, 2008

Dear Diary,
Every time a vagina opens and a brand new person emerges, I am overwhelmed by my emotions. The physical, emotional and spiritual achievement of another woman makes me a stronger, more confident more spiritual woman myself. Feminine pride overwhelms me when I witness another woman achieve her rite of passage and become a mother. During childbirth there’s often a time in which the soon-to-be mom doubts herself, telling me, “I can’t! I can’t!” But I know she can, and that’s one of the reasons I’m there, to help her and support her, and remind her that, yes, she can!

“You can do it!”
“Your body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do”
“You are strong!”
"You're beautiful!"
"You’re doing it!"

These are the words that I spoke gently to xxxxx in the moments before she gave birth to her precious daughter, xxxxx. When that little girl was born, and her wet slippery body was placed skin to skin on her mothers breast I was mesmerized by what I witnessed. The birth, itself, was beautiful enough, but when that woman received that baby and their eyes locked, the world stood still. It was as if no one else was in the room. Not the Doctor, not the nurse, not her husband and not me, her doula who stood quietly at her side in admiration of the strength, wisdom and beauty that poured out of her. The only thing that existed on Earth was the raw emotional connection...Read more