What's your "thing"?
We all have a “thing”. For some it’s the IV for some it’s being seen naked.
For me it was poop! I was terrified, horrified and totally freaked out by the idea that while pushing my baby out of my vagina an unwelcome piece of digested food might find it’s way out of my tushy.
I was totally fixated on this and was seriously considering asking for a c-section to avoid it.
I was 25 years old. It was my first pregnancy and at that time in my life, I suppose I gave a shit what people thought about me (no pun intended)
I made Jerry Patterson promise me that if a poop came out of my butt, as long as I lived on the Earth, he would never tell me! To this day, if I say, Jerry Patterson, did I poop when I pushed? The answer is always the same. No, baby, you didn’t.
What I now know, as a veteran Doula with a tremendous amount of experience is that MOST of us poop when we push. If there is stool in the lower bowel and you bear down with incredible force, it will come out. No biggie (well, sometimes it’s a biggie, haha) It’s actually a great indicator that a woman is using the right muscles to push. She will likely move her baby down more quickly because she is pushing more effectively.
Labor is often about letting go of the mind and embracing the body. I don’t mean separating the two because I believe they are one. It’s like focusing on your right hand while you’re drawing and letting go of your left. Your left hand is still part of your body, but your focus is on the right. Only our mind would prevent us from bearing down to birth our baby from fear of pooping. Our body would never consider trying to shut down that process.
Now, here’s the tricky part…
Our mind keeps us safe! It strategically protects us from our fears. If we fear being judged or being vulnerable or being mocked, if poop freaks us out or if we have created a bizarre visual in our mind of laying in a white sheeted bed with fluorescent lighting overhead and a giant doo-doo coming out of our bodies, the mind will freeze the body.
So, who will you invite into that room? What will the conversation be with that person or people leading up to your birth? Are they people that you can confidently and safely separate your mind and body in front of? Will you be able to allow your body to function the way it knows how to, the way it was designed to, the way it is intended to in front of these people? Who will you completely “let go” in front of?
I must tell you, I pride my self on being the kind of woman that other women can poop in front of.
Authored by: The Rock n' Roll Doula