Providing Professional Doula Services to Families in Greenwich, Westchester and NYC

parenting

Parenting philosophies, everybody's got one. 

Actually in most cases, more than one!

Philosophy isn't just a class in college, it's a reflection of our views and values in the way we live our lives.

Finding the right parenting philosophy for your family takes some time and understanding more about the roots of each style can help you better understand which methods are the best fit. It might seem like process of elimination at first but taking your time to decide which direction you and your partner would like to take for your parenting strategy. 

From the moment you find out that you're pregnant, everyone is quick to give you all kinds of advice.

You'll get plenty of advice about how to parent and even more people push an urgency on you to make decisions. One of the best parts of becoming a parent is empowering yourselves and making your own decisions for the best...Read more

The groundhog really wasn't playing when he called for more winter. 

We were hoping he was.

After the blizzard of 2017 unleashed it's wrath on the Northeast, we're still feeling some residual cabin fever as they continue to clean up the aftermath. While we're at home cleaning up the war zone left behind after the kids were home from school for several days in a row, we're all hoping this is the last of it. 

But wait, there's more!

The forecast calls for even more snow in the Northeast this weekend, adding a few more inches to our driveways and giving us more time at home entertaining the kiddos. If you and the kids are starting to feel like you're trapped in a snow globe, take a few tips and tricks from us to keep your house from going off the deep end and staying sane during your next big snow day. 

Crafts!

Well depending on how much energy you have left in you after the last doozy of a snow storm, some crafts are always a fun way to take the...Read more

In 2016, we took a moment to appreciate the hilarious things our kids say. 

This just happens to be one of the highlights of parenthood and we can't get enough of little kids saying hilarious things. We decided to go back for a second look at even more occasions where parents were floored by the funny things that came out of their kids mouths. Sure it can be embarrassing, but having a small child is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

They have no filter and these funny one-liners usually make a grand appearance at the worst possible moment but of course it makes us laugh till' we cry and we wouldn't have it any other way. 

Here's 10 of the funniest tweets parents have shared about their kids.

We dare you not to laugh.

Well dad I guess you can't argue that logic. Sounds like you might wind up sleeping outside. 

 

...Read more

You've gotta fight!

For your right!

To potty.

We know you just said that with the Beastie Boys tune in your head. It's okay so did we.

What are we talking about here?

The dreaded potty training of your toddler.

Who would have thought that it would be so time consuming and stressful to teach someone else how to poop in a toilet?

We have some tips and tricks to help make this potty training process a little bit easier on parents. 

Before we get started, you'll need to reassess your patience. Remember that potty training is a gradual process. Celebrate every small victory and don't sweat the accidents, they are going to happen. Be patient and it'll give your little one a little extra confidence while they're sitting on the royal throne. 

Familiarize Yourself with the "Poop Face"

When you have to poop you don't exactly make it obvious to other people, unless you do and if so, do your thing...

...Read more

As a girl who grew up in the backyard playing baseball, roller-hockey, and making mud-pies, I was more than a little nervous when the ultrasound tech looked up and said “There is your daughter!”

You see, at a young age, up until I was about 20, I hadn’t ever spent time with little girls. My brother had two sons, my cousin is a boy, most of the neighborhood kids were boys, and the ones that were girls really weren’t keen on being my friend. I always dreamed of having a little girl but when it came time I realized I had no idea what to do with one.

My daughter is now 4 and while I learn something new about raising girls every day, here is a list of 5 things I definitely know about raising girls.

1) One size does NOT fit all

We all know women come in all shapes and sizes but for some reason we tend to put our daughters into two categories...tom-boys and girly-girls. But what if your little girl loves to roll in the mud while she plays princess? Well, my friends, it means you have a GIRL. Little girls (and big girls!) are fluid creatures with ever-changing likes and interests. How awesome is that?

2) They copy EVERYTHING

Imagine my horror walking into my 4 year old daughter’s room to see her trying to make her tiny tummy smaller. Yeah...Read more

Our doula certification organization, ProDoula, challenged us to write a blog about a children's book that teaches a life lesson. 

 

The point of many children's books is to teach a life lesson so we thought long and hard about the lesson we wanted to reinforce with this post.

 

We wanted to write about something important and meaningful that would connect deeply with people's insides (quite literally).

 

We wanted to share a message that was written to appeal to children but one that adults could identify with also. 

 

After much mental 'constipation' we settled on 'Everyone Poops' authored and illustrated by Taro Gomi.

 

The story is simple, direct and without boundaries but what is the life lesson 'behind' it?

 

The first lesson is obvious: 

A one-hump camel makes a one-hump poop. And a two-hump camel makes a two-hump poop. (just kidding, if only life's lessons were so simple...)

The real life lesson is right in the title...

'Everyone Poops'. 

Everyone does a lot of things.

 

The lesson in this book is that we are all the same. We all function the same. Our bodies are designed to do certain things and that we must not feel shame or...Read more

 

“DON’T TALK TO ME”, I snapped!

I need 20 minutes of quiet to just chill!

I’m completely fried.

I have to decompress… Oh my gosh, my mind is spinning. There’s electricity raging through my body and I have to drive this car and get this kid and I home safely!

It was a bowling event with the Girl Scouts. Erica was in 2nd grade. There were millions of them! Kids EVERYWHERE! The noise, the lights, the music, the worry that I might lose one of them, the incessant questions that started with Rannnndyyy???

As much as I loved being a leader and being involved in scouting with my girls…. That shit can also blow your mind!

Now think about a newborn…

The smells, the sounds, the lights, the people, his parents nerves, the dog, the sister, THE GRANDMA!

The kids mind is blown and he needs to decompress!

He cries!

You bounce him! (adding more stimulation…)

He cries more!

You walk him into another room! (adding even more stimulation)

He cries continuously!

Dad takes him! (adding more stimulation)

He looses his mind!

You try a bath…. (stimulation OVERLOAD)

He screams his fucking head off!

You cry! (adding more stimulation!)

So what can we do for an over-stimulated baby?

                       -       Relax (well, try to anyway) your baby used to live INSIDE you. He shared your body with you and he responds...Read more

Well, here we are! It’s the end of summer, and another school year has started.

As most of you know, my blog posts about sleep usually focus on infants and toddlers. For now, I’m stepping out of the box to look at sleep among teenagers, or more accurately, LACK of sleep among teenagers.

According to the National Institutes of Health, sleep deprivation among young adults is at epidemic proportions.

Many teenagers flock back to school with a feeling of excitement. They want to be liked, to belong, and to succeed academically. Maybe they want to participate in new activities, experience the responsibility and financial benefit of holding a part-time job, or hang out with friends. Whatever the reason, teenagers are filling their lives with more activities than a healthy lifestyle can support.

Our biological clocks work best if our sleep is consistent.

When we are running on one schedule during the week, another on Saturday, and yet another on Sunday, we throw off our body’s rhythms, causing exhaustion.

This sleep-time discrepancy between school nights and weekends is the biggest culprit.

Between attending school, struggling with homework and maybe extra credit projects, playing sports and instruments, participating in other extracurricular activities, working at part-time jobs, spending time with friends, texting and social networking—not to mention, eating, maintaining general hygiene, and driving to all of the above—...Read more

NO!!!

The best way to say no is, NO….

No, gets a lot of flak but at the end of the day, when you say it, there is no confusion about your intent.

My 17 year old, Ty, pointed this out to me last year.

Ty is famous for asking permission to do something that she is pretty sure I won’t want her to do. She does this in some of the most elaborate of ways….

She leaves me to make a decision with a mind full of distracting details and a desire not to say, NO. I’m sure this skill will serve her well… one day.

That’s right, I don’t want to say no. I trust her. She makes good decisions. She tells me everything (including the things I probably don’t want to hear…) I have no reason not to trust her.

So, instead, I say something like, “I don’t know, we’ll see, I’ll think about it.” All the while, knowing full well, that I am not granting her permission.

About a year ago, after hoping for a yes and being disappointed by a no, Ty said to me, “mom, if you’re just going to say no, please just say it. I’ll deal with it, but it will be better than putting my hopes into a maybe changing into a yes and then being disappointed.”

Hmmm… that was helpful, I thought!

For your entertainment, here is an example from a few days ago…

“Mom, on Labor Day weekend, can me and so and so, and so and so drive to Randall’s Island to go a concert? I’ll drive so you don’t have to worry about me being in someone else’s car but they will...Read more

 

Attachment Parenting on a Schedule

I only breastfed for a few months, I fed on a schedule, my children slept 8-10 hours a night at 3 and 4 weeks old and no child of mine ever slept in the bed that I make love to my husband in. And still… We are attached. Incredibly bonded and attached.

I ran a tight ship around here. There was a schedule for everything and we stuck to that schedule. Modifications were made to the schedule when necessary and those modifications were quickly maintained. This was our choice for our family; it was never open for debate or discussion. It was our decision to make and we made the right one for us.

That being said, my confidence level hovers around the 10+ mark on any given day and I don’t seek the approval of others, ever. I make decisions with my partner; Jerry Patterson and we act on that decision. Together, as a team.

If you are the judging type and I hope for your sake you are not, judge away.  It will have no impact because I have the advantage of watching it in action for two days shy of 21 years and I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do anything as powerful as parenting. I simply know what my family needed.

The part that I have a difficult time with, is the assumption that “scheduled parenting” creates less of a bond or a disconnect. The bond I have with my girls can only be compared to the bond between...Read more

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