Most teenaged girls can say (but won’t) that they have been in a situation where they were begged by a teenaged boy to sneak into the bathroom and snap him a quick picture.
I know I have! This is how it goes....
You're siting in your room, alone, and you’re bored. It's 10:30 at night, and the boy you think is "SO HOT" texts you. You can’t believe it. You smile, your eyes light up and your hands get a little sweaty.
OMG! He put 3 y's! He's definitely interested!*
You send a Heyyy (with 3 y's of course) back to him.
He asks what's up, you chat, send a couple of emojis, and then he hits you with it.
"You should send me a pic"
You laugh it off and say no. You try and change the subject, and then he pulls out the…
"babe please" card.
As a teen girl you automatically think he likes you because he called you babe! Oh, how he makes you melt with the word babe.
But it's bullshit!
He doesn't like you, he likes your boobs!
That's where the confusion comes in! The attention that girls are seeking is right there. It is physically in the palms of your hands. But it is all wrong. It feels wrong and you know it’s wrong, but you don’t want him to stop texting you. It’s the wrong kind of attention and you know it but somehow… you still don’t want it to stop!
Body image is a very important thing to young girls. We are constantly thinking…
Am I too fat?
Am I too thin?
Are my boobs to small?
Am I too tall?
Self confidence takes work. Lot’s of it! It is something we have to build. It is not just handed to us on a silver platter. If it was, our moms would buy the biggest prettiest silver platters that money could buy and serve it up!
Building this confidence is most difficult when girls are around 7th 8th and 9th grade.
They are surrounded by all kinds of girls.
Many who have not reached puberty yet and are still super skinny, as well as the handful of girls who have blossomed early and are excited about the Victoria Secret bra they’re sporting. It's difficult to find beauty in your own awkward body…
You wonder if something is wrong with you.
In many cases, girls seek out attention from boys in order to feel beautiful and confident. It never really works and they always end up feeling worse.
Immature teenage boys with raging hormones will say and do anything for a glimpse of a girl.
Asking for and getting provocative pictures from a girl is a major desire for boys. Unfortunately, girls with low self-esteem seek out this attention as a confidence booster. They send the sex picture to a boy, and he tells her how "hot" she is.
She feels amazing! For a minute…
And then… he shows it to all his friends, now she's a slut…
This is not the kind of thing girls need to put themselves through, letting people's opinions build you up OR tear you down, will only leave you feeling empty and alone.
Beauty is most definitely in the eye of the beholder. Little boys should never have an effect on how we feel about ourselves. Whether they think we’re "hot and sexy" or not!
WE need to make OURSELVES happy. If you're big and beautiful, rock it! If you're skinny and tall, rock it!
You are all that matters, your confidence and happiness is in your own hands. No one should have the ability to change or harm that.
I am 17 years old and proud to say that I never needed this kind of validation from a boy.
I know I’m hot!
Authored by: TJP (The Rock n' Roll Doula's daughter)