Providing Professional Doula Services to Families in Greenwich, Westchester and NYC

Musings

 

Top 10 “FIRSTS” To Look Forward To

Firsts can be an amazing way to celebrate being parents. I found that the things I enjoyed most in my own life were the things I was most excited about sharing with my children. Nothing beats seeing the world for a second time through the eyes of our children!

10) Baking cookies- What a great way to spend time with your kids. Give them the space to feel good about what they are making even if it means you can only fit 5 cookies on the cookie sheet at a time. lol

9) Finger Painting- One of my personal favorites! I probably should have waiting longer than 9 months so that better hand/eye coordination was established …. But I just couldn’t wait!!!

8) Going Swimming- This one is tricky! It’s a hot summer day and you think…. Oh my gosh, my 5 month old is going to LOVE this. Hmmmm…. Good luck

7) Eating Ice Cream/ frosting from a Birthday cake- Seeing your kids love something sweet and delicious is super fun!

6) Little League game/Dance Recital- When our children take pride in something that they have practiced hard for, our hearts beam for them. Seeing your...Read more

I’ve written in the past about the word should – it’s a dirty word, and when it runs through my mind it brings along its friends - self-doubt and shaky confidence.

Five years ago I became a mother and I tuned out the world; I quieted the noise outside my head.  I could not have cared less what people thought and Karl and I existed in our own little cocoon for a while.  As I started to emerge and join the ranks of motherhood, making some new mommy friends, reading what others had to say, I suddenly thought to myself, “Are these the things I should care about, think about, ask about?”  I never had, but I felt this odd awareness that perhaps there was some rulebook or manual that I had (like I do with so many other things) put in a pile and forgotten to look at… I realized I must have been doing it wrong.  Except, that’s not what happened.  I was doing it right, I was doing it exactly as I wanted to... and then I stopped, and tried to figure out what I should be doing.

I stopped trusting my instincts and instead tried to determine what the character playing the role of Mother in each scene would be doing.  Making myself crazy in the process and being annoyed with myself (or the character I was playing) and not really understanding why…

I am so fortunate to have help with my kids – a ridiculous amount of help, in fact.  More help and support than any girl could ask for; and yet, I’ve spent a lot of time running around like a chicken with my head cut...Read more

The Top 10 Quotes To Inspire Women. Do yourself a favor… don’t JUST read these quotes ~ feel them!

10) “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” - Katharine Hepburn

9) “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” - Maya Angelou

8) “A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.” – Madonna

7) “If you don’t like being a doormat then get off the floor.” - Al Anon

6) “A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

5) “Success breeds confidence.” - Beryl Markham

4) “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” - Ayn Rand

3) “Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.” - Rosalind Russell

2) “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” - Oprah Winfrey

And one of MY personal favorites….

1) “Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” - Elizabeth GilbertA

Authored by: The Rock n' Roll DoulaRead more

Top Ten Summer Family Fun

10) Lake Compounce. A short drive to Bristol, Connecticut offers one of the nation's oldest amusement parks with a great kiddie area and a water park. Relatively cheap and drinks are free.

9)  Renegades Baseball. How about a baseball game with crazy family fun in between innings. Oh yeah, tickets range from $6 to $17. Located at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill.

8)  Muscoot Farm. Bring the little ones and let them run. Cute farm with all kinds of animal. E I E I O.

7)  West Point Museum. Bring the boys to this beautiful museum right outside the campus gate. Military history comes alive. They even have a tank.

6)  Firefighter Parades. Throughout the summer, local fire departments have parades with bands and fire trucks. Some departments also have carnivals scheduled with the parade.

5)  Bear Mountain. Hiking trails, row boats, merry go round and a zoo. Bring the picnic basket.

4)  Jones Beach. Take the drive to the State's beautiful beach. Little ones will enjoy the Bay side and park. SPF 50.

3)  Drive In Theater. Dutchess County offers two drive in theaters in Poughkeepsie and Hyde Park. Dress the kids in pajamas, bring pillows and snacks.

2)  Palisades Mall. The Mall?! This place is huge and has a bowling alley, an ice...Read more

R E S P E C T

I don’t want to sound like my mother, but things were different when I was a child. As much as I love the advancements my current life offers, there were certain “rules” or practices, which have me longing for the good old days.

When did the rules change and why?

While attending my son Jack’s Confirmation this week, I noticed how much has changed since I went to church as a child.  The content and structure of the mass has recently changed, but what changed the people? The same question applies to other social activities.

When did it become ok to play on your phone or handheld device in church? Before the ceremony, people were in the pews using and talking on their phones. During the ceremony, I noticed several children and adults staring down at the glow of their phones, checking facebook and playing games.  I thought to myself, when did the rules change? 

When I was younger, you were expected to dress a certain way for different functions. Of course you wore a tuxedo or a gown to the prom. For graduation or a church service you dressed respectfully. At the confirmation ceremony, some young adults were dressed like they were going to a nightclub, to the gym or to bed. It was obviously an important event for these people but they showed no respect for the ceremony or the setting.

My older son Matthew was Jack’s sponsor for the confirmation and they were sitting together away...Read more

Even When it Makes You Feel Like a Failure!

I’m a doula.  I know a lot about breastfeeding.  I know how to help a baby latch shortly after birth, I can answer any question you have, I could fill pages and pages writing advice for different scenarios and concerns.

What I can’t do… is make enough breastmilk to sustain my [rather robust] children.  I had milk supply issues with all three of my children.  I knew EXACTLY what to do to fix it – I had given this advice, I had coached women through these solutions and I had seen it ALL WORK… for them. 

With my first child, you might say I was completely oblivious, but not for a lack of knowledge – I had all the information, but I trusted my instincts and believed that everything was, and would be, GREAT.  We slept, we ate, we smiled. 

Pregnant with baby #2, I began to reflect on my experience with Mia.  With a bit more experience as a doula, I realized that I had low milk supply.  DUH!  What an idiot, I kept thinking… I’m a doula and I didn’t realize that I hadn’t been making enough milk.  It hit me like a ton of bricks – I felt like a fool, I had walked around all this time with a stupid, naïve smile on my face.  I felt like a fake and a phony – had I tricked everyone and myself into thinking I knew what I was doing, as a mother AND as a doula?  How could I have been so stupid?!  NOT AGAIN, I decided!  I knew the problem, I knew the solution and I was going to fix it.  My complete and utter...Read more

Today I feel complete.  Well let’s back up, it wasn’t like I’ve been walking around all this time not feeling complete.  I just wasn’t, but didn’t know it yet.

I never wanted a dog of my own before, well that is before HANK.  Hank is the Rock N Roll Doula’s dog that comes to have sleepovers at the Aglietti house from time to time.  I noticed every time he left, that I missed him more and more.  I also noticed I had a little skip in my step when he was around.

So I said it to myself a lot of times before I said it out loud.  I want a dog.  It felt good, so I finally said it out loud knowing full well the implications.  If I told my husband and boys ages 15 and 14, that I wanted a dog (something the three of them had been talking about forever) I was not going to be able to change my mind.

Sure enough after we discussed it and agreed that we would get a dog in the SPRING, we didn’t talk about much else.  What kind?  What age?  Where would we get this new member of our family?  Would I like it?  Would I change my mind?

Fast forward to Saturday Feb 2nd   (not Spring).  We found out that the local animal shelter had a beagle available, the type we had decided we wanted.  He had been there for about a month, and they were guessing he was around 4 years old.  Everyone but I wanted a puppy so I was pretty excited that he was older.  I wanted to go to the shelter by myself first, to check him out so I could make a decision without my...Read more

 

Ten things to do as a family that don’t cost a dime

10) Check out your local Community calendar.  There are always great things happening around town.  Local events, races, plays.  A great resource to get some ideas.

9) Visit your local Library  - It is so quiet there, and the kids will love having so many books to choose from.

8) Play board games – When was the last time you sat down and played a good classic game?  Remember Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit (even have them for kids) or connect four? 

7) Cupboard potluck – Have everyone in the family pick something out of the cupboard cook or bake all the selections and have a cupboard potluck!

6) Have a movie party – Each person  in the family picks out a movie.  Whether it’s a classic DVD or something On-Demand.   Pop some popcorn, kick your feet up and get lost in the movies.

5) Build a fort – Move the furniture out of the way, collect the old blankets and sheets and make a fort.  When you finish, bring a snack and a book into the fort with a flashlight.  This will make for some great memories.

4) Go on a hike – Now is the time, before it gets to hot!  Put the baby / child in a carrier or a backpack, and explore the great outdoors!

3) Go to the park – Really take the time to play with your children at the park, not just watching them.  It will be a blast.

2) Build a cardboard castle – Stop by an appliance store to see if they have any...Read more

 

After seeing all of the Father’s Day posts on facebook yesterday, I feel compelled to add my two cents.

There were the “I’m daddy’s little girl” posts, there were the “my father was always there for me” posts, there were the “I know you’re watching over me from above” posts, there were the “it takes a special man to be a daddy” posts, there were even the “single mom, no participating dad” posts but the thing I didn’t see yesterday and worked really hard to refrain from writing was the “HEY DAD, FUCK YOU!” post… so here goes.

I mean no disrespect to those of you that are/were fortunate enough to have a loving father by your side throughout your life, the same way you meant no disrespect to me when you proudly shared your posts of praise yesterday. I simply know that my father experience has been different AND I know I’m not alone in this.

My parents were married at 18years old (1 year older than Ty is now and 3 years younger than Erica is now!) They had two children right away (imagine the pressures associated with that) and my interpretation of the story from there is that they quickly began to despise each other and it ultimately ended in divorce.

Mom and dad both re-married. Mom married a younger like-minded hippie who introduced her to the world of drugs and non-conformity. Dad was on the up and up as a professional and married an equally like-minded professional woman. They shared a strong focus on structure and...Read more

Congratulations to Kim and Kanye on the birth of their daughter who arrived about a month early.

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