I love the holidays.
Jerry Patterson hates them….
Each year as December approaches, the battle begins.
I strive for perfection in all things surrounding the holiday season. From the tree, to the menu, to the gifts, to the cookies. Even the wrapping paper has to be absolutely perfect.
The rest of the world continues with its rude and ugly behavior while gift shopping and is filled with road rage while on the way to the printer to pick up their holiday cards.
The checkout woman at the grocery store mumbles a weak, “Merry Christmas” and I think to myself, what the fuck is that about…
Look me in the eye!
Smile at me!
WISH me a Merry Christmas don’t just say it because you’re “supposed to”.
So by mid month, with Jerry reminding me just how fucked up this whole bullshit holiday season is and how over indulgent and self-centered everyone is about it, I start to resent it too.
I begin to take notice of the asshole that doesn’t let me walk across the parking lot in the rain while pushing a heavy cart full of groceries because he thinks he should go first while his fat ass sits in his warm, dry car.
I begin to notice the look of misery on the faces of the holiday shoppers.
The woman in front of me at a store in the mall rudely steps in and out of line while haphazardly picking up 4 or 5 more items from the “impulse shopping bin”. She does this while...Read more