Providing Professional Doula Services to Families in Greenwich, Westchester and NYC

June 2013

Top Ten Summer Family Fun

10) Lake Compounce. A short drive to Bristol, Connecticut offers one of the nation's oldest amusement parks with a great kiddie area and a water park. Relatively cheap and drinks are free.

9)  Renegades Baseball. How about a baseball game with crazy family fun in between innings. Oh yeah, tickets range from $6 to $17. Located at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill.

8)  Muscoot Farm. Bring the little ones and let them run. Cute farm with all kinds of animal. E I E I O.

7)  West Point Museum. Bring the boys to this beautiful museum right outside the campus gate. Military history comes alive. They even have a tank.

6)  Firefighter Parades. Throughout the summer, local fire departments have parades with bands and fire trucks. Some departments also have carnivals scheduled with the parade.

5)  Bear Mountain. Hiking trails, row boats, merry go round and a zoo. Bring the picnic basket.

4)  Jones Beach. Take the drive to the State's beautiful beach. Little ones will enjoy the Bay side and park. SPF 50.

3)  Drive In Theater. Dutchess County offers two drive in theaters in Poughkeepsie and Hyde Park. Dress the kids in pajamas, bring pillows and snacks.

2)  Palisades Mall. The Mall?! This place is huge and has a bowling alley, an ice...Read more

Words become worthless

Destruction lies with your lies

Do! And follow through!

 

Authored by: KW, A Doula's Husband

 

** A note from KW's wife - I've written this week about struggles and transition, about moving forward by looking inward, about support and how that is the foundation for growth.  My husband, KW, has become that foundation, that source of strength I need.  It starts with communication - a single word or a rambling monologue, but it is honest, from your heart directly to the one you love.  In becoming what I need from him, he has become what he needs for himself and has shown me how to better support him.  From that support and comfort, comes a new found creativity and means for communication.  Enjoy.  

 

A Doula's HusbandRead more

Albert Einstein defines INSANITY as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”.  I agree with this, to an extent.  Although lately, it seems to be failing me – in a big way.

In doing [seemingly] the same things over and over, I expect to feel the same way each time, and when I don’t I question EVERYTHING about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and why I’m having this crazy, illogical reaction or response.  I assume I am doing it wrong… this is the start of self-doubt and a shaky confidence…

Wondering what in the world I’m talking about?  CHANGE!  Normal change, the changes that happen when you grow up, and by default, when your children also grow up.

This week marked some new changes and transitions… And… right now, I am FREAKING OUT! 

Mia started camp this week.  I now get these “easy” drop-offs…  I drive through the “drop-off circle”, pull up to the curb, a counselor opens the door, I hand Mia her lunch and backpack, blow her a kiss and off she goes.  Hmmm.. that’s it? Not so fast…

Day one, upon exiting the circle, I promptly turned back into the parking lot, and sat in a spot that had a clear view – I watched Mia talk to the counselor and a new friend (does she look happy?  Is she confused?  Does she know where she’s supposed to go? Should I have walked her in?); I then drove through the circle again (inconspicuously, of course) to watch her walk into camp.  Ok, I’m lying… I drove through the circle TWICE...Read more

R E S P E C T

I don’t want to sound like my mother, but things were different when I was a child. As much as I love the advancements my current life offers, there were certain “rules” or practices, which have me longing for the good old days.

When did the rules change and why?

While attending my son Jack’s Confirmation this week, I noticed how much has changed since I went to church as a child.  The content and structure of the mass has recently changed, but what changed the people? The same question applies to other social activities.

When did it become ok to play on your phone or handheld device in church? Before the ceremony, people were in the pews using and talking on their phones. During the ceremony, I noticed several children and adults staring down at the glow of their phones, checking facebook and playing games.  I thought to myself, when did the rules change? 

When I was younger, you were expected to dress a certain way for different functions. Of course you wore a tuxedo or a gown to the prom. For graduation or a church service you dressed respectfully. At the confirmation ceremony, some young adults were dressed like they were going to a nightclub, to the gym or to bed. It was obviously an important event for these people but they showed no respect for the ceremony or the setting.

My older son Matthew was Jack’s sponsor for the confirmation and they were sitting together away...Read more

Even When it Makes You Feel Like a Failure!

I’m a doula.  I know a lot about breastfeeding.  I know how to help a baby latch shortly after birth, I can answer any question you have, I could fill pages and pages writing advice for different scenarios and concerns.

What I can’t do… is make enough breastmilk to sustain my [rather robust] children.  I had milk supply issues with all three of my children.  I knew EXACTLY what to do to fix it – I had given this advice, I had coached women through these solutions and I had seen it ALL WORK… for them. 

With my first child, you might say I was completely oblivious, but not for a lack of knowledge – I had all the information, but I trusted my instincts and believed that everything was, and would be, GREAT.  We slept, we ate, we smiled. 

Pregnant with baby #2, I began to reflect on my experience with Mia.  With a bit more experience as a doula, I realized that I had low milk supply.  DUH!  What an idiot, I kept thinking… I’m a doula and I didn’t realize that I hadn’t been making enough milk.  It hit me like a ton of bricks – I felt like a fool, I had walked around all this time with a stupid, naïve smile on my face.  I felt like a fake and a phony – had I tricked everyone and myself into thinking I knew what I was doing, as a mother AND as a doula?  How could I have been so stupid?!  NOT AGAIN, I decided!  I knew the problem, I knew the solution and I was going to fix it.  My complete and utter...Read more

Today I feel complete.  Well let’s back up, it wasn’t like I’ve been walking around all this time not feeling complete.  I just wasn’t, but didn’t know it yet.

I never wanted a dog of my own before, well that is before HANK.  Hank is the Rock N Roll Doula’s dog that comes to have sleepovers at the Aglietti house from time to time.  I noticed every time he left, that I missed him more and more.  I also noticed I had a little skip in my step when he was around.

So I said it to myself a lot of times before I said it out loud.  I want a dog.  It felt good, so I finally said it out loud knowing full well the implications.  If I told my husband and boys ages 15 and 14, that I wanted a dog (something the three of them had been talking about forever) I was not going to be able to change my mind.

Sure enough after we discussed it and agreed that we would get a dog in the SPRING, we didn’t talk about much else.  What kind?  What age?  Where would we get this new member of our family?  Would I like it?  Would I change my mind?

Fast forward to Saturday Feb 2nd   (not Spring).  We found out that the local animal shelter had a beagle available, the type we had decided we wanted.  He had been there for about a month, and they were guessing he was around 4 years old.  Everyone but I wanted a puppy so I was pretty excited that he was older.  I wanted to go to the shelter by myself first, to check him out so I could make a decision without my...Read more

 

Ten things to do as a family that don’t cost a dime

10) Check out your local Community calendar.  There are always great things happening around town.  Local events, races, plays.  A great resource to get some ideas.

9) Visit your local Library  - It is so quiet there, and the kids will love having so many books to choose from.

8) Play board games – When was the last time you sat down and played a good classic game?  Remember Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit (even have them for kids) or connect four? 

7) Cupboard potluck – Have everyone in the family pick something out of the cupboard cook or bake all the selections and have a cupboard potluck!

6) Have a movie party – Each person  in the family picks out a movie.  Whether it’s a classic DVD or something On-Demand.   Pop some popcorn, kick your feet up and get lost in the movies.

5) Build a fort – Move the furniture out of the way, collect the old blankets and sheets and make a fort.  When you finish, bring a snack and a book into the fort with a flashlight.  This will make for some great memories.

4) Go on a hike – Now is the time, before it gets to hot!  Put the baby / child in a carrier or a backpack, and explore the great outdoors!

3) Go to the park – Really take the time to play with your children at the park, not just watching them.  It will be a blast.

2) Build a cardboard castle – Stop by an appliance store to see if they have any...Read more

 

I’m older than I’ve ever been in my whole life.

It seems to me that at different stages of our lives, we hear different messages hidden in the words that are spoken to us. We have heard similar sentences a million times before but now we HEAR something different.

I was eavesdropping (because I was standing close enough to hear) on a conversation between two women that vaguely knew each other from church. One asked, “How is your family?” The other replied with a laundry list of her three children’s academic and professional accomplishments.

I mean, she was proudly sharing these accomplishments. Her shoulders were back, her head was high… these accomplishments were parading out of her mouth like a fuckin’ peacock strutting it’s feathers. I kept hoping she would say something that mattered, but she never did….

Most of you know me well enough to know that I can’t keep my mouth shut. I leaned in, blew my eavesdropping cover and said, “but are they happy? Isn’t that all that really matters?” It was followed by, an awkward chuckle and the two ladies agreeing that they would see one another in church soon.

Academic and professional accomplishments are simply the result of what we are.

...Read more

“Time may change me. But I can’t trace time.”- Changes- S. Pitts & D. Bowie

At dinner today, (Mexican take-out- I don’t cook on Thursdays) Drew asked for “rice” and said “ah- done” when he was finished.  He said “nigh nigh” at bedtime and asked for a clean “butt” and crawled up the stairs himself for his bath.

Nineteen months ago, after 39.9 weeks of pregnancy, 15 hours of labor, and 27 months of healing from my C-section, Drew was born.  With the help of my amazing husband and doula, I gave birth to this baby, via VBAC, on a rainy November evening.  Since then I have nursed, snuggled, played, watched hours of ESPN, listened to music, laughed, cried, marveled, and taken care of him.  Now that tiny newborn is 19-months-old.

This morning at breakfast, Ben asked me when I was going to come to his preschool to hear him sing the Hebrew song with the Cantor.  He then excused himself from the table, went to the bathroom, and washed his hands afterward.  He hugged me good-bye and then told me to have a good day at work. 

Almost 4 years ago, on a sunny July afternoon, after 39 weeks of pregnancy, 8 hours of induced labor, and 45 minutes of surgery, Ben was born.  It was a transformative experience in many ways. Since then, I have nursed him, snuggled him, played games with him, read to him, cooked, laughed, cried, and taken him to work with me when I can.  He’s my little assistant and he’s almost four-years-old.   

Today, I gave their...Read more

 

After seeing all of the Father’s Day posts on facebook yesterday, I feel compelled to add my two cents.

There were the “I’m daddy’s little girl” posts, there were the “my father was always there for me” posts, there were the “I know you’re watching over me from above” posts, there were the “it takes a special man to be a daddy” posts, there were even the “single mom, no participating dad” posts but the thing I didn’t see yesterday and worked really hard to refrain from writing was the “HEY DAD, FUCK YOU!” post… so here goes.

I mean no disrespect to those of you that are/were fortunate enough to have a loving father by your side throughout your life, the same way you meant no disrespect to me when you proudly shared your posts of praise yesterday. I simply know that my father experience has been different AND I know I’m not alone in this.

My parents were married at 18years old (1 year older than Ty is now and 3 years younger than Erica is now!) They had two children right away (imagine the pressures associated with that) and my interpretation of the story from there is that they quickly began to despise each other and it ultimately ended in divorce.

Mom and dad both re-married. Mom married a younger like-minded hippie who introduced her to the world of drugs and non-conformity. Dad was on the up and up as a professional and married an equally like-minded professional woman. They shared a strong focus on structure and...Read more

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